Nothing is mentioned, though, about cursing a lack of candles.George Carlin, When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?George Carlin, The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.George Carlin, Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.George Carlin, I have as much authority as the Pope. its only a symbol. They own you. I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. Here are some of our favorite George Carlin quotes on politics. We would love to hear your thoughts, so dont be shy and comment below! If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten. Quotes by George Carlin One of the most iconic comedians of all time. George Carlin 'Political correctness is fascism pretending to be manners.' Quotes are added by the Goodreads community and are not verified by Goodreads. We talk too much,love too seldom, and hate too often. We cut education, in 50 years, well be so stack with idiots with shitty jobs that we wont have enough money to pay for defense! George Carlin, 85. } Vicious quotes and captions plus a big list of quotations about vicious, xenophobia, and brutal quotes by George Carlin and Francois de la Rochefoucauld. Just because you got the monkey off your back, doesnt mean the circus has left town. In fact, George Carlin had some pretty interesting things to say about government. Have you ever noticed that the only metaphor we have in our public discourse for solving problems is to declare war on it? The game is rigged and nobody seems to notice. "Boy everyone in this country is running around yammering about their fucking rights. The less said about it the better. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Catholic, which I was until I reached the age of reasonGeorge Carlin, They say that instead of cursing the darkness, one should light a candle. } catch (err) { There is a mistake in the text of this quote. The reason I talk to myself is that Im the only one whose answers I accept.George Carlin. Religion is like a pair of shoesFind one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. " George Carlin Quotes "Most of the country was founded by slave owners so they could be free. Be happy with what youve got, because the owners of this country dont want that. Whether you agree with him or not, Carlins views are definitely worth considering. throw new Error("could not load device-specific stylesheet : " + err.message); The owners of this country know the truth: Its called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin, 83.Theres a reason education sucks, and its the same reason it will never ever ever be fixed. " George Carlin 14. I mean, life is tough. If your kid needs a role model and you aint it, youre both fucked. George Carlin, 32. George Carlin Quotes - BrainyQuote Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. George Carlin, 42. George Carlin. All day long beating you over the head with their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy. Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school. George Carlin. I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. There is only a short pause before the next horrifying event. googletag.enableServices(); So, I dislike and despise groups of people but I love individuals. Deal with it.George Carlin, Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.George Carlin, He and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly.George Carlin, I dont know how you feel, but Im pretty sick of church people. Best Quotes & Jokes by George Carlin | SComedy 3140. Government is an important institution. if (window.Mobvious === undefined) { }, The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. var ue_t0=window.ue_t0||+new Date(); You have owners. Its so f***ing heroic. [CDATA[ " Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. If the parent corporation doesn't want you to know something, it won't be on the news. Deal with it. When he is not writing in his favorite coffee shop, Igor spends most of his time reading, traveling, producing house music, and capturing light with his camera. 50 The Alchemist Quotes To Make You Follow Your Dreams, 195 Best Cobra Kai Quotes (Seasons 1 5), 70 Attack On Titan Quotes That Will Inspire Greatness, 37 The Lion King Quotes Filled With Powerful Life Lessons, Your email address will not be published. I have certain rules I live by. You caused the problem; you voted them in; you have no right to complain. George Carlin, 70. This is the best we can do folks. } I'm the Founder of SucceedFeed.com and I truly appreciate you taking the time to read my posts and being apart of the Succeed Feed community. George Carlin was posthumously awarded the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2008, after he passed away that year at the age of 71. return false; Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. George Carlin, 9. What are your favorite George Carlin quotes? Goalcast is an inspiring community for achievers dedicated to helping you improve all aspects of your life. ' George Carlin, 30. Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. George Carlin, 22. And fight songs. Thats the problem. George Carlin, 58. //]]> If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. George Carlin, 73. By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. George Carlin, 10. What George Carlin Believed About Religion Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? 8 George Carlin Quotes On Death That Will Make You Think! George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) Your cat thinks the dog's an asshole. If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely? Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough not to quit. George Carlin, 21. I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. What if I want to have a crappy day?George Carlin, Not only do I not know whats going on, I wouldnt know what to do about it if I did.George Carlin, Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.George Carlin, So, have a little fun. Topics. And probably increase.George Carlin, And heres something else, another problem you might have: Suppose your prayers arent answered. //]]> We just believed everything. })(); It always has been. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating and you finish off as an orgasm.George Carlin, Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.George Carlin, I do this real moron thing, and its called thinking. He's the subject of a new documentary. ! //]]> The less said about it the better. George Carlin, 38. I love individuals. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat. v. Pacifica Foundation, in which a 54 decision affirmed the government's power to regulate indecent material on the public airwaves (wikipedia). } They never mention that part to us, do they? George Carlin, 50. The first one is: 'Never believe ANYthing the government says.' George Carlin Believe, Government, Rules To Live By 48 Copy quote Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. 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And armbands. "Events.SushiEndpoint": "https://unagi.amazon.com/1/events/com.amazon.csm.csa.prod", Tell people theres an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. Its disgusting, man. Carlin is well-known for pivoting from a strait-laced, suit-and-tie approach to standup in the late 1960s and early . A.async = !0; 1. stylesheet.rel = "stylesheet"; And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. Your email address will not be published. Sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize: the government does not give a fuck about them. The planet is fine. Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. Boy, these conservatives are really something, arent they? They'll get it all from you sooner or later 'cause they own this f**kin' place. > Quotable Quote. Born: May 12, 1937. pubID: '3211', adServer: 'googletag', bidTimeout: 4e3, params: { aps_privacy: '1YN' } Hope these quotes will give you a different perspective on government and how it works. The future will soon be a thing of the past. He was born May 12, 1937, in New York City into an Irish Catholic family, but he rejected the faith. Those who decide what news you will or will not hear are paid by, and tolerated purely at the whim of, those who hold economic power. Its so fuckin heroic. George Carlin, 18. He loves you and he needs money. You should die first, get it out of the way. var ue_furl = "fls-na.amazon.com"; Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are stupider than that. }; googletag.pubads().setTargeting("grsession", "osid.b75ee1b4ab41ae6cecc3e4c769a5b3df"); We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. died on June 22, 2008, George Denis Patrick Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, social critic, actor, and author.