It will just flow naturally. No matter how bad it gets Im always rich when I go to the dollar store. Also read: 50+ Powerful Positive Affirmations For Exams. And their purpose certainly isn't to minimize hard feelings. Sometimes the M is silent. You can tune a guitar, but you cant tuna fish. Short Positive Daily Affirmations. Dont give up on your dreams so soon, sleep longer. 58. 183. 145. 90. I am at peace with my body and accept it as it is. Funny Friday Quotes. 10. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing. I enjoy taking long romantic walks, to the fridge. 98. 214. One thing you need to remember though; if you are going to be funny, then make sure youre actually funny. I will tell the negative voice inside my head to shut up. If you want to catch a squirrel just climb a tree and act like a nut. May your yoga pants be stretchy, your coffee be strong and your Wednesday be short., See also: 120 Inspiring Wednesday Morning Blessings To Motivate You. I am grateful for the healing power of humor. Even on my worst day, Ive still got 24 hours., 6. The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. 241. But then again so does . 51. 42. Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. We need to hear a pin drop. Say your affirmations slowly and clearly. 58. Bill Murray I tried, but they wanted cash. What we say not only affects our lives but also has an impact on those around us. Whats the difference between a guitar and a fish? 230. Everyone brings happiness to this office. If everyone knew what I was thinking, I would get punched in the face a lot. 140. 33. Sarcasm is a tool of highly intelligent people and if youre one of them (I bet you are), youre going to love these funny affirmations that are filled with humor and sarcasm. 71. Jackie Collins, 240. "My funny vibes attract my happy tribe.". I am sorry not everyone will have the pleasure of knowing me., 14. 135. You never know what you have, until you clean your closet. "I receive what I believe.". 73. To thrive in life you need three bones. I am lazier after accomplishing the motive. Its what it is supposed to be, dont overthink and let it go. 1. 66. Ive made it from the bed to the couch. "Whatever you do, do with all your might.". Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. I may stumble along the way, but I will get over it. Today Im going to reach for the stars so that I can air out my armpits. 79. 20 Most Powerful Affirmations Because Thoughts Become Things I woke up with some aches and pains, but I woke up. And a funny bone., 10. Nothing, they just waved. 218. Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow as well., 13. Whoever said great things come in small packages hasnt seen my big screen TV. , we dont need our internal dialogue to pile on too. 100. 102. 9. With great power comes an even greater electricity bill. 55. Robert Bloch. I see food, and I eat it. Dont worry, the spider is smaller than you. Not everyone has to like me. 56. Be like a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet from inside. Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, theyll start using it. 45. 86. I believed in Santa Claus for 10 years. Its alright if you dont agree with me, I cant force you to be right. Feel free to share with friends and family on Facebook, Tumblr, Instagram, WhatsApp, Twitter and more to motivate them every morning. Life is like a very long TV show, without a remote control. What is Mozart doing right now? Never test how deep the water is with both feet. Doing nothing is hard, you never know when youre done. In the morning, I cant get up. Once you're feeling happy and confident about your sense of humor, use these 35 affirmations to navigate challenging situations with a smile. 203. I am transforming into someone who is outgoing and makes others laugh. 47. When I can laugh at myself, life becomes so much easier. When shit hits the fan at work, I turn it into fertilizer., 10. 25. 25. 145. Dont forget to drink water and get some sun. About Us | Privacy Policy | Terms | Contact 2023 Quotement. Words have the power to make or break us. 100 Funny Christmas Quotes. 68. If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me. A person with a great sense of humor is also more likable. You are good enough, smart enough, beautiful enough, and strong enough. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? He who wakes up early, yawns all day long. 70. I'm sorry, I have to quickly disable alarm level brown. I heard a great joke about amnesia but I forgot it. I sometimes might be too much, but I am always enough. 61. 40 Short Positive Affirmations + Free Printable - Dare Your Lifestyle Today, I laughed until my abs started hurting, so I can skip the gym. 146. Chris Rock I make a difference by showing up fully. Friday Affirmations. It takes less time to do things right than to explain why you did it wrong. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, 9. My dream job would be the Karma delivery service. Your life is your message to the world. You can write them on sticky notes to set on your mirror, on the notes app in your phone for on-the-go encouragement, or you can simply memorize your favorites and recite . I understand people talking about me. You might enjoy: Affirmations: 13 Answers You Should Know "Who you are inside is what helps you make and do everything in life". Self-worth has nothing to do with clothing size. I dont like morning people, or mornings, or people. .People who enjoy making other people laugh are also known to be more detail oriented. Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth., 9. Funny Affirmation Quotes - ShortQuotes.cc 22. 236. 254. Sarcasm is a tool of highly intelligent people and if you're one of them (I bet you are), you're going to love these funny affirmations that are filled with humor and sarcasm.I'm sure you've heard a lot about affirmations, what they do and why you should start using them daily.They are a powerful to. I didnt fall, Im just spending some quality time with the floor. 100 Funny Monday Quotes and Sayings - Inside Of Happiness 180+ Positive Affirmations For Kids To Boost Motivation And Confidence Papercut: A trees final moment of revenge. If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door. Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. 93. I dont have everything I want, but I have all I need. It makes them so damned mad. Make it inspiring. 18 Funny Positive Affirmations to Get Through Your Shitty Day If youre hotter than me, then that means Im cooler than you. "Start each day with a positive thought and a grateful heart.". 253. [click_to_tweet tweet=I can always think of something funny to say. quote=I can always think of something funny to say. theme=style4], 2023 Oldtown Publishing LLC 479 State Route 17 N 16. 170. Pampered cows produce spoiled milk. Edward A. Murphy 32. 8. No matter what I look like. I breathe in and out. This is a snap. 73. I love myself, which is why I dont need to love the idea of other people loving me., 12. - Unknown. Im so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed. 249. 47. He who laughs last didnt get it. 32. 150. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wifes mother. I could agree with you, but then wed both be wrong. Please excuse me while I go check the plumbing. He who laughs last didnt get it. 90. Use this space for describing your block. I am grateful for all that I have. 24. 185. 23. I dont go crazy, I am crazy. 197. Here's some short funny affirmations that will hopefully brighten up your day. When affirmations make you feel good about yourself, they are most effective. 64. 233. Emphasis on the cool. Funny Affirmations. Good morning! Subscribe To Our Newsletter! Really? Its okay if people dont like me. Trust me, your secrets are safe with me and all of my friends. 255. George Burns 188. I feel great. Every day I become calmer and do more good for the world. Affirmations are a great way to change your mindset. "Being funny doesn't take much effort.". Live life to the fullest. When, in fact, we must be optimistic and supportive of ourselves. Alexa, please clean the negativity off of my mind please. 1. Hmmm, this text message is a little too harsh, Ill add LOL at the end. Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. Why cant you trust an atom? Never judge a book by its movie. The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. A mind is like a parachute. Life is filled with highs and lows, stress and anxiety, so sometimes some funny and positive words will help you lighten up on an encouraging note. Hi! This might be a work in progress, or you might need to remind yourself of how funny you actually are. Hes dreaming too. 144. Thats what youre called when you dont have a job. 207. What do I do for a living? Your brain will only ever optimally respond to positive present tense affirmations such as " I am calm .". 46. 217. The world is missing some pizzazz. 235. 3. 234. 224. 142. 1. I hope you have a ridiculously amazing day. 84. Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a pool. You can tune a guitar, but you cant tuna fish. Then, think about how easy it would be to say a simple statement to yourself throughout the day. 152. 78. Sincerely, yourself. 98. I like my thoughts how I like my whiskey, always glass half full. Dont make me laugh, Im trying to be mad at you. 211. In between, I am alive., 7. The biggest critics of my books are the people who never read them. It makes them so damned mad. I am quite fascinating. I believe we should all pay our tax bill with a smile. Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow as well. 166. 33. Robert Bloch My boss is like a baby, screams and wakes me up every half hour. Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. Im not arguing, Im just telling you why youre wrong. I bet giraffes dont even know what farts smell like. Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. Your email address will not be published. Still, you need to embrace each of these surprises with same positive conviction and appreciation. We frequently doubt ourselves. 225. 40 Apology Paragraph For Her To Say Im Sorry, 80 Cute Relationship Quotes For Sweet Couples In Love, 50 Doubt In Relationship Quotes To Rebuild Trust, 75 Sad Broken Relationship Quotes To Fix Your Heartbreak, 70 Relationship Honesty Quotes On Love, Trust & Loyalty, 80 Relationship Sorry Quotes To Apologize To Your Love, 65 Disney Quotes About Family That Will Warm Your Heart, 90 Best Shrek Quotes From The Funny Ogre Movie, 80 Blended Family Quotes To Share With Your Loved Ones, 90 Female Fitness Quotes For Women Who Workout. What better way to do that than through your own self-talk? 174. "I make people laugh, whether it's with me or at me.". Albert King. The rest are too expensive. 173. 196. Say "Thank you" - A Motivational Video On The Importance Of GratitudeIntro Speech by Denzel Washington (Commencement Speech)Main speech by Fearless Soul "Tha. Cindy from Marzahn. Dont let anything or anyone stop you from achieving what you truly aspire. 151. Laughter brings me closer to people. I dont need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry. You were too lazy to read that number. 128. If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else. Bill Murray, 260. Mind blown! 210. I am sorry not everyone will have the pleasure of knowing me. We all have those days when we feel like the world is coming to an end. A committee is a group that keeps the minutes and loses hours. 96. They are a powerful tool you can use to change your attitude, your perspective on life and shift from a negative to a positive mindset. 101. If I am willing to go back to bed when I wake up, I will go and make up the bed. 218. Henny Youngman These affirmations are funny, humorous, witty and sarcastic for work, friends, family, mom, to boost your self-esteem, confidence and strength. 89. 213. 23. Square box, round pizza, triangle slices, now thats confusing. I dont worry about getting older. I'm doing great. 85. You might use humor as a coping mechanism. 250. East. 239. 273. 7. 50. 1. It's OK to take a break. If you steal from one author, its plagiarism; if you steal from many, its research. 221. So, why not team them up? To the guy who created imaginary numbers in math: I hate you. I am here to live to the fullest. Positive affirmations aren't about tricking kids into mentally looking at life with eyes that only see what they want to see. Art doesnt transform. 272. Because he was always spotted. After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says W T F. 204. In life, sometimes you just need to break the tension with a little humor. Not everyone has good taste. 202. Life is a game full of little and big surprises. - Benjamin Franklin. Steven Wright, 252. Every day is a gift, thats why they call it the present. I just go normal from time to time. It may look like Im doing nothing, but in my head, Im quite busy. If youre looking for a way to brighten your day and amp up your attitude, youve come to the right place. What do I do for a living? Its a door, thats how they work. 215. Albert Einstein Heres a giant list of funny affirmations to help you relax your mind with a little humor when youre stressed. It may feel useless but just get into it. Don't forget to be awesome. Just like every Monday does on Earth. They shape our present and have an impact on our future. Need to send some positive energy your way? 48. It has nothing new to tell you. 20. Bowling Alley: Please be quiet. 217. "If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you.". I thought you said extra fries. As I become responsible, I have got more powers. 21. 116. Of course, I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice. 180. A gummy bear. Henny Youngman, 246. 226. 219. 10 Funny Affirmations That Will Put A Smile On Your Face - QuoteReel "You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.". document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Should I Send My Child to Therapy? Following my intuition and my heart keeps me safe and sound. 153. I am wise enough to make the same mistake again!, 8. Your actions become your habits. My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it. 6. Im lovely because everyone likes me more than Monday morning!, 7. Dont worry, the spider is smaller than you. 80 Soren Kierkegaard Quotes On Love, Life And Philosophy, Top 90 Martin Luther King Jr. I wonder, do we lazy people go to heaven or do they send someone to pick us up? Roy Lichtenstein 53. Start as soon as you wake up in the morning. My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it. I tell you what always catches my eye. Smiles are contagious, be a carrier. 153. Unit #2007 Mahwah, NJ 07430, 50 Funny Affirmations for Confidence, Motivation, and Self-Love, 39 Movies about Friendship and Being with Great People, Relationship OCD: Symptoms, Causes, and How to Treat, 45 Best Hobbies for Couples to Share Together, 51 Passion Project Ideas & Examples List for 2023, 21 Best Films That Explore Mental Illness, 41 Words of Encouragement for Someone in Jail, The 5 Best Vitamins for Anxiety (Our 2023 Review), 101 Toxic People Quotes to Stay Away from Negativity, 57 Strong Mom Quotes About Being a Powerful Parent, 7 Steps to Deal with Emotionally Unavailable Parents, 35 Best Songs About What Its Like to Have Anxiety. If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldnt have a job if he was any smarter. John Gotti, 6.